Coronation story Paula

Finally, a moment to write about the coronation. Too tired on Sunday and too busy with work on Monday and Tuesday, but I've been dying to write all along.

It started at Felicity Stage, where fools gathered after a hysterically funny washerwomen's show involving a lot of water being flung into the audience. After the hat finished being passed, David Springhorn took the stage as the Abbot of Unreason, wearing his ecclesiastical robes and cardinal-esque chappeau and carrying his giant bauble, a staff really, with a contorted jester face on top. Assisted in various moments by Will Wood, ex-rex Rover and a bizarre character called Count Smokula (picture a white-faced dracula guy wearing fez and satin cape, playing an accordion), the Abbot amused the audience while waiting for the current King to choose the right moment to appear. The fools sat on wet haybales and laughed at some very bad jokes before being rescued by the appearance of (then) King Supercilius I.

J Paul took the stage and made an eloquent outgoing speech, much like the announcement he recently posted on the list. Before starting the parade, however, he paused to make two final gestures as outgoing King: he took Michael Kember and Dianne Longdo and KNIGHTED them! By Jove! What a brilliant idea! Instead of the traditional gesture of touching a sword to both of their shoulders in turn, he had Michael bend over so he could use the royal sceptre (a plunger spray-painted gold) to ceremonially "plunge" him on the ass. It was a marvellous sight to see. He did something to Dianne too although I don't remember if he plunged her or what (somebody help me?).

Then the crowd decided it wanted its new King, so Supercilious stepped into the brightly painted Royal Rickshaw and was pulled about for a bit with his foolish subjects following noisily behind, tooting noisemakers, clanging cymbals and chanting, "Where's the new King? Where's the new King?" After a hundred yards or so, we stopped an innocent bystander on the street and the King asked him to please try to conduct a particularly ragged group of fools whom he described as a choir. The fellow gamely waved his arms but all that emerged from the "choir" was random unorganized sound, quite awful. Convinced therefore that this was not the fellow, Supercilius thanked him for his audition and moved the parade onward. A few bends in the road later, he stopped at an ale stand, demanded to see the manager, and made the manager try to conduct the choir. He, too, failed miserably and the parade went on.

Next, we entered Celt Camp after a brief pseudo-hostile challenge at its gates. Celt Camp is located adjacent to the lake, and the King led us all the way to its edge, as if searching for some fish or sea monster who could do a better job of conducting that choir. Coming to the edge, we saw two gray-haired old farts out on the lake in a funny round-bottomed boat that the use in Celtic lands for fishing (a "coracle," I think it's called). Supercilius challenged them to come ashore and see if they could conduct this choir. Slowly the boat approached and off stepped Steve Gillan and James Hendricks, moving oh so carefully so as not to rock the boat (but it would have been SO funny if they had capsized!). James stepped onto the little plank pier, faced the choir, lifted his arms, and lo and behold--"Ahhhh lay loo ya, Ahhhh lay loo ya," they sang beautifully in three-part harmony as if they had been previously trained by this very conductor! It was absolutely amazing!! Then we KNEW we had found our King!

Whereupon the new King got into the rickshaw for what proved to be a surprisingly long, hot march to the coronation site (the Maypole, almost all the way out to the front). The parade snaked along the road and crashed through a stage show, with the King-elect throwing handfuls of toys, coins and gee-gaws into the crowd like so much penny candy. Since almost all of us were new to this particular site, nobody quite knew where we were going at any time, including both kings and the parade's official leader Dingaling (Jeff Weissman), who nearly made a major wrong turn before realizing we had in fact arrived at the Maypole. Panting, red-faced and hoarse-voiced, we settled in for the change of reign. J Paul made another nice speech and when that certain pregnant moment was ripe, handed James the sceptre and goblet, then lifted the crown off his own head and lowered it slowly and with great ceremony onto James' sweaty pate. Tremendous cheers went up all around!

James proceeded to make a magnanimous speech while continuing to toss beads, gold coins, miniature rubber chickens and other gee-gaws into the throng, to the delight of all. He announced that his name was to be King Magnanimous the First and that there would be something for everyone during his reign, "a chicken in every pot" I think he said (or was it a rubber chicken?). His heart grew large and encompassed everyone in its loving circle. Then he concluded his speech and gave the floor to Mother Folderol FiddleDeeDee, aka Terry Hill, who has been Mother Folly for two years. Terry got onto a haybale and made a goodbye speech, saying she had been our mother for two years now and it was time to crown a new Mother Folly. She turned around, motioned to a group of female fools behind her, and voila, they stood back to reveal none other than SIOUX ASHE, the King's own consort! Sioux took the haybale and fairly glowed with pleasure (or was it heat stroke?) as Terry placed the beautiful multi-colored wreath-like crown on her head, while the handmaidens showered her with pink and yellow rose petals. Bonnie Morgan quickly climbed the Maypole and flung petals from high above Sioux's head for still greater effect. Sioux made a lovely speech with warm, welcoming tones and invited us to have FUN this year. Who can say no to that? We cheered wildly and flung our foolish hats into the air with joy.

...whereupon the newly crowned King and his Consort climbed back into the rickshaw and were pulled a mercifully short distance to the Wine Garden, where ten bottles of cold champagne awaited those hardly souls who stuck with the parade till the very end. James stood on a picnic table and popped each bottle dramatically with great flourish as each previous one was finished by the thirsty throng. Sioux mingled with her new "children" and many ex-Kings held court. In fact, there were a LOT of ex-rexes at this coronation. Later on we counted 14 out of 22 living Kings. Not bad!!

As you no doubt heard already, or will hear soon, our new King has called his first Privy Council meeting for Wednesday June 1, 8pm, at his home in Silverlake. I hope to see many of you there!

In risu veritas,

Paula